.

recently, i tend to feel nothing

yes, absolutely nothing

i wonder what i've been experiencing in the past few weeks. every single day passes by slowly, leaving me behind with mixed feelings. 

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what am i doing right now?

i'm lost although i've written all my goals, made all the plans which can possibly work out and followed them

i tried to achieve my targets, but i did't fail and didn't success either

i don't feel anything

is that a dead-end for me?

gettin' stuck in the flow of repeating routines?

i want to do something new

something epic

something which gives me strong feelings...

for a brief moment, i want to travel

i don't want to travel with my family or friends, i want to travel alone, to find out who i really am.

i want to stay in a small coffee shop in paris, reading my favorite book while jazz was being played

i want to go to maldives and watch the sun rises every morning, filling my lungs with the fresh air from the crystal - clear beach.

i want to get lost in a pine forest, listening to the whispers of the winds and the trees.

i want to meet someone, like a random stranger to talk about countless shits we've done in our life.

never have i wanted to travel so bad.

i believe that once i've travelled far enough, i will find myself, and may be my soulmate, too.

i'm tired of doing homework, acing tests which do nothing to me and my friends but make us believe that we're not good enough, putting out the fire inside us.

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i have been experienced horrible things, but the most horrible one, i must say waking up at the morning, realising that you have exams today and you haven't revised shit.

after having messed up on the test, i promise to myself that i would never ever procrastinate again. i make plans, i follow it, my discipline is 100000%, then boom, incident pops up.

i fall off the track.

it happens all time.

i know it's going to happen, but i can't do anything to stop it.

i'm fucking devastated...

10:03 AM

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30/11/19