it's okay to get lost

12 / 05 / 19 

i will never forget the day i decided to sit down and make plans for my life.

i have never thought of doing that thing before, but at that very moment, something ideas popped up in my head, which made me think about my life's goals.

i sat there, staring at the computer screen, typing the really first words: "life without "ctrl -z"s"

little did i know that was the start of a brief journey.

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i have dreams, but i've never planned things out to achieve my dreams.

i would say i want to be a scientist simply because i love science, i didn't care about what a scientist has to come through to become "a scientist". i didn't have any plan.

but today, when i say i want to be a scientist, i know what he or she has to face up with, and what makes someone a true scientist, i start to think about the small things which make up the big picture.

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there're times when i get lost in my own path with my own problems and no one to talk to. 

i do ask for advice from my teachers and friends, but there're times when you have to face with the problems yourself, you can't always ask for help.

i believe that everyone has their own problems. despite the fact that they can't solve them, many people still hide it inside, telling everyone that they're okay.

i really admire people like that. 

how can they hide such feelings inside? 

isn't it incredible to be happy while you're facing with a mess?

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it's time i stopped procrastinating.

but how?

i tried many ways, but i always end up lying on my bed, scrolling my newsfeed, doing absolutely nothing.

i find it hard to focus on my work.

why is it so easy to open youtube and watch all sorts of random videos while it's hard to just focus on opening my backpack and get stuff out?

i wonder...

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hey

this letter is for you whenever you:

- get lost

- have a mental breakdown

- don't feel like doing anything

- want to give up

- have mixed feelings

remember that dream you had as a 14 - year - old kid?

- i want to be a graphic designer.

that was your first real dream.

imagine that day when you turn 18, heading for the U.S.

you will meet awesome people, experiencing amazing things

you will find out more about yourself, discovering your true, true self

you will face up with problems, but you will manage to get through them

you're going to miss vietnam a lot, and may be at that moment, you would scroll up and read this post you wrote to yourself.

you're going to meet tough clients who ask for tons of changes in your logo.

you're going to deal with sleepless nights, with times you find yourself waking up on your table, when no one is around to appease you and to help you heal your pain.

but it's great being maturer, isn't it?

i can't help thinking of the scenario when i can stay in a small house along the sunny beach with my best friend (or my husband), or maybe... just me and myself

the world is moving, and you should be moving too.

6:40 PM

22/11/19

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i'm dying because of deadlines but i don't care.

life can be even worse.

but i will get through it.

cause i'm strong.